A donor is defined as someone who gives or donates something. Synonyms for a donor include but are not limited to; giver, contributor, benefactor, supporter, backer, etc. As a father, there are some exceptional ones and unfortunately, there are those who would be described as a man that donated his sperm as a means of procreation. They may also provide monetary donations as a substitute for being present in their offspring’s life. A heart donor has given a major organ, like their heart after his or her death to someone else so that the recipient can live and increase their quality of life. Donor’s acts are selfless and they have considered someone else before themselves. Donation’s are given as acts of love and kindness and are completely voluntary. Many donors aren’t recognized or praised for these acts and aren’t looking for anything in return, they find their rewards in the idea that they give what their heart desires.
He makes my heart throb with love, witnessing him take on the responsibility of a child that he didn’t make. Not only was he willing, he did. He never hesitated, he never questioned it, he loved and donated his most protected organ, his heart. Not only is he there, but he’s also present. You see there’s a difference in being “around” and actually being present and active. This man parents, provides sound and well thought-out advice, shows interest and support, and never misses important moments or events. This is a FATHER, a DADDY and someone who loves unconditionally even though his child doesn’t share his DNA. Sometimes genetics isn’t the only determining factor in your position in someones life, love is. He has donated his heart to the most precious recipient, as a result he’s added and enriched her life as well as mine.
To be revived is to restore to life or consciousness. To be given new energy or strength to. Synonyms to revive include but not limited to; reinvigorate, restore, energize, strengthen, fortify, rejuvenate, regenerate, renew, enliven, etc. A successful donor transplant revives its recipient, increases their quality of life, and provides them a renewed hope. Metaphorically this rejuvenation has occurred in me due to a generous and courageous donor who wasn’t afraid to give 100% of himself to someone who was not ready to give even 10% of herself. This donation of his heart has revived the idea of love and union. The idea of a family unit has been renewed after it was torn apart so carelessly. He decided to rebuild with a mother and a young child, and he has provided the strength needed when weakness was present, and uncertainty was prevalent. The donation of his love allowed us to regain control and stability over our lives and fulfill the desire to rebuild again, together. Who knew that there could be an emotional transplant that could take place between two individuals, revitalizing and refreshing elements in you that you never knew existed.
I feel alive and present in love, in motherhood, and in emotional bliss that isn’t perfect but grounded in the basis of commitment and sacrifice that I believe is strong enough to surpass the test of time. The bond that has been slowly built over the last several years isn’t solidified with a marriage license…yet. Nor is it based upon how many likes given on social media. The bond was built brick-by-brick and it is solid! Revived, renewed, and rejuvenated every time he reassures me of his love, not by just his words but more importantly by his actions.
Fatherhood; The Revival
A great awakening has occurred within him as he has fallen in love with a little girl that he considers his own. A pure love that only a father and daughter can share. Although this relationship did not start at birth, it probably wouldn’t have made them any closer. On Father’s Day, of course, I recognize my own father who has and still is my heart, my love, and my hero! Ironically I am with a man that shares so many of the amazing attributes that make my daddy the wonderful man that he is. Their sacrificial personalities and willingness to risk anything for their families. Their abilities to succeed and the drive and tenacity of a lion! Both of them never get complacent in their lives, they continue to push forward gaining more knowledge, obtaining a new degree in education, and always desiring to pick up another skill. Both hard working men! I’ve been beyond blessed to have my dad every day of my life. Even as an adult, my dad is always one phone call away, one short phone call because he doesn’t like to waste time on the phone lol. But I know that when I call him he never lets me down. Not only is he there for his 3 children, he’s also always there for his grandbaby who loves and adores him as she should. As my daughter was a baby I often felt guilty that I let her down by choosing the type of man I decided to marry and reproduce with, sure I didn’t expect things to turn into what they did, but I should have had better judgment, discernment, or better yet just listened to my parents. Either way, I have her, and she’s been the greatest blessing of all! Hindsight is 20/20, isn’t it? Well, the second time around I know what I want and what I don’t. I’m convinced that I’ve found that and so much more. I wasn’t particularly looking for a father to assist me in raising my daughter because I didn’t think I needed it, but I did. The strength, encouragement, stability he provides is unmatched and the unconditional love he gives and shows me is what lifts my spirit on even my worst days.
It takes so much to be a true father, and even more to be a father to a child that isn’t your biological child. Another thing my father can relate to. He has 3 children, but only two that share his genetics, but you wouldn’t know it! We have all been treated and loved the same throughout our lives. Mother’s are natural nurturers and are likely wired to care and love for children and others. Men are a bit different. Better yet A LOT different! (lol) They aren’t wired the same, it takes more out of them to nurture another person, it doesn’t come as naturally as it does for a Mom. When they enter fatherhood emotionally something inside of them softens, and they are enthralled with becoming a parent, much like mothers are. But a step-parent is magical because they choose to take on such an important role that they don’t have to. Willing to sacrifice for someone that they don’t have to, and accepting a child along with the mother when many times Mom isn’t so easy to handle either.
So on this day, I want to say THANK YOU! Thank you for not only accepting me but loving my daughter too. You didn’t have to but I admired you even more for wanting to. You didn’t know how to be a parent because you don’t have children of your own but somehow you’ve been the perfect one. Father’s Day is about acknowledging men like you who give their all to this challenging journey that is so hard, yet so beautiful all at the same time. I’m amazed by you everyday juggling all that you have on your plate and still managing to put us first. Donating your heart has opened mine and for that I am thankful, l love you and Happy Father’s Day!