In 2011 when I went natural….for the 1st time (yes, there’s levels to this) I did it for health reasons. I found out I was pregnant so I eliminated the intake of as many chemicals I could from my body including relaxers, to protect my baby. I was a new Mommi-to-be so I was trying to start on the healthiest foot that I could! Little did I know that this was a WHOLE MOVEMENT, a journey of self rediscovery and acceptance, and the beginning of a lesson in beauty that I would teach my baby girl for a lifetime!

As we all know, hair is a huge part of who we are in the black community. Our hair has been the topic of many conversations for decades! Mostly persuading us to alter our natural curls to fit society’s standards and approval.  This dialogue was widely controversial but more recently there’s been a shift to very positive, and empowering conversations exemplifying self love and pride for our natural coils. It’s beautiful to see and experience acceptance within our community for our hair, instead of turning a nose up when seeing a black woman with a kinky Afro Walk by, nowadays we might look and respond “Yasss Queen, you’re working that fro!” And that’s the type of energy we need to keep amongst each other! Because if we can’t even love what God has given us how do we expect others to?

Imitation is Admiration

Now, the irony of how for decades we have been discouraged from big hair, kinky hair, cornrows, locs, etc. and suddenly other races are using those same styles as the “newest and hottest trends!” Insinuating it was originated by them for fashion purposes, with no credit to the originators. Another aspect of our culture stolen and used as one of there’s for their benefit and the next the dollar. We call this culture misappropriation, we’ve seen this with our music, dancing, and fashion just to name a few. This is in no way an article to bash members of other cultures, but merely facts. It’s happened since the beginning of time, but rather than viewing it as disgust, it honestly shows admiration for what black women/people /our culture was naturally blessed with. We were born this way. And how awesome is that!

Hair Love 101

It’s 2020 and there is no reason for anyone to be left in the dark about caring for natural hair with the technological access we have at our fingertips today. When I was a little girl we read magazines like “Black Hair,” “Hype Hair,”or “Essence.” These had our favorite black girl Sheroes on the front cover usually rocking bone straight, longer styles most likely from weaves and perms and we so badly wanted to mirror these same styles to look as glamorous as they did. When in reality that type of hair didn’t grow from my head, making it almost impossible to achieve these looks with a comb, brush, and products from home. Rarely did the girls on the cover have thick curly hair. So why should we want it? Why should any little black girl want to embrace something she never sees recognized as being beautiful or worthy of a cover girl spot? Representation is everything! While it is the responsibility of Mothers and Fathers at home to teach and instill healthy beauty standards within their children, the Mothers and Fathers in the black entertainment, marketing, and advertisement community also hold a portion of responsibility to provide diversity in beauty within mainstream media. Many of them are Parents as well, and as a whole we can potentially work together to bridge that gap. I’m happy to see these positive changes taking place over the last several years, and I am happy to be raising my Daughter in times where she can see her hair texture on TV, magazines, and the internet. We need more of that, so let’s continue that-and celebrate this progression!

We’ve Come Incredibly Far

I see so many natural hair events, groups, pages, channels, product lines, etc. It’s a whole vibe to see a group of black women with bomb natural hair! It’s proof of how far we have come and it’s a whole vibe that I hope never dies! It runs deeper than hair, it’s connected to our identity and self love as a whole. Black History Month stretches beyond just the Month of February and and is more complex than learning about a new Black inventor. Black History is deeper, bolder, greater. It’s pride and empowerment of all of the beautiful aspects that make us Black people and our enriching culture that makes us the superior Kings and Queens that they tried to convince us we aren’t. All of the hardships we face as a race is because there is history attached to the struggle because we were proven superior in some shape or form or envied over our natural features, because of the undeniable beauty of the black race. As I tell my beautiful black daughter, if ever you feel less than, never forget you’re a beautiful, black Queen that is unstoppable and of course, Magical!

As women, and as Moms we go through seasons in our lives where our hope begins to diminish due to circumstances beyond our control. Even some situations we find ourselves in may be due to a bad decision we have made and has caused us such grief, and that’s ok, we make mistakes and learn from it. No matter the reason we may be going through a rough time it’s important to stay hopeful….because like the old folks say, “trouble don’t last always.” If you or someone close to you finds themselves in a dark time remind them of these 4 helpful tips to add cheer and thankfulness during this holiday season and beyond.

• Put Life in Perspective

Things happen, we fall and may disappoint ourselves and other’s but it isn’t the end of the world. Learn to put your life in perspective and acknowledge this hard time without letting it consume you. Allow something positive in your life to help you crawl out of the hole you may be in. Allowing yourself to see beyond the hardship or pain you’re in now signify’s your faith and ability to grow beyond it.

• Be intentional

Being intentional with your thoughts and actions shapes the way life operates around you. When you take control of your life and not allow a difficult season in your life shape your thought pattern, you are creating a positive habit. God doesn’t promise us a life free from problems but he does offer us faith and guidance throughout it. Being intentionally positive when you may not feel like it will only bring positive results. Starting the day off with something that will uplift your spirit instead of starting the day with no direction will make a world of difference. I challenge you to choose an attitude of thankfulness despite what may be happening around you!

• Give generously

I don’t know about you but when I give to others it automatically puts me in a great state of mind. Especially when it’s a sacrifice. Giving is such a selfless gesture and it becomes addictive. Have you ever given to a toy drive around Christmas or donated clothes to a homeless shelter? If you have then you know the exact feeling I’m referring to. It seems as though when you give sacrificially there’s some sort of endorphin in our brains that signals this immediate surge of thankfulness. You are thankful to be in a position to give, and thankful that although life may not be the best you are still not as bad off as you thought. You begin to count your blessings even more and certainly more often.

• Appreciate what you have

Appreciation and thankfulness go hand-in-hand. Appreciating what you already have allows our blessings to flow even more abundantly. If we place our concentration on what we do have then we find little time to focus on what we don’t. It’s a very simple concept however, it’s one that we overlook as we get boggled down and distracted sometimes in life. Let’s re-learn to appreciate the small things like, waking up each day, for our homes, our families, our jobs, and of course our magical children that we can’t see a life without. These thoughts can make even the worst days better!

We all encounter circumstances in our lives that can make this time of year difficult to enjoy, but somehow remembering these simple acts of thankfulness can help to curve our focus and rejuvenate our spirits. Remember to use perspective in your life and be intentional about starting a new day fresh. Give generously and appreciate even the seemingly small things in life. I pray that you have a very Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy every part of the day and its meaning, remember to lead with an attitude of thanks!

-xo

Remember Me?

Wow! It’s been waaay too long since I’ve checked in on you guys and a lot has definitely changed since publishing my last blog! I promise not to go this long again, but you understand how Mom life, work life, school life can get, right? I hope so because I love blogging and it is such a magical feeling to publish a blog and witness your comments and responses to it! I live for the engagement! Are you like me and CANNOT believe that we are in the last quarter of the year and less than 2 months away from 2020??? I mean I think I say this every year…but I REALLY mean it this year, it’s FLOWN by and it just doesn’t seem real how we’re about to close 2019 and begin a new year! 2019 has been one for the books! So much has happened, so many things have inspired me and sent my creativity into overdrive! I know from that 2020 is going to be even more progressive and productive! The key is applying what I’ve learned this year to the next, so let’s get it!

Updates

So since we’ve last chatted I’ve gone from a girlfriend to a Feyonce, honey! (Praise him!!) LOL! Yes, the man of my dreams got down on that good knee on August 23, 2019 and asked me to spend a lifetime with him and it seemed like a dream! The best type of dream because I never have to wake up from this one. The day he proposed was the day our paths first crossed, which was 20 years ago on August 23, 1999 at Midland Middle School in Columbus, GA. He also took us there in front of THE school to bring the moment full circle. Not only did he propose to me, he also asked our Daughter if he can officially be her Father and gave her a gift she’s been wanting, too! If you are a single Mom then you know the importance of your mate loving and accepting your child as their own, it’s a requirement, so to witness this act of love and devotion meant more than anything. This was truly a special moment, but no footage to share Sis, sorry! (insert shrugging shoulders emoji) I know you’re thinking I’m the photo queen why don’t I have pics!? Haha…Well he wanted this moment to be sacred between the 3 of us, and boy was it special, that day will be forever be ingrained in our memories because pictures wouldn’t even do it justice!

 

MommiNation Link Up

The very next day I had the incredible opportunity to meet a bunch of my MommiNation Sisters in Carrollton, Ga, just west of Atlanta! We have connected via social media, conference calls, and video chats, but nothing was like finally meeting in person!

We had such  a great afternoon and discussed the future of the platform, and we had some special announcements amongst the group which only heightened the celebration! This was a monumental moment for me because as a fairly new blogger I am so fortunate to be apart of this amazing group of seasoned bloggers who have been blogging for much longer than I have. If you haven’t checked out Mommination then you should! We are a group of black Moms sharing our experiences through Motherhood from a transparent and relatable perspective. We strive to be the #1 resource for Moms visiting the site and see themselves through our blogs and discuss topics that directly affect US! I linked it in this paragraph so just click and it will take you straight there!

 

Anniversary Vibes

August was a month full of love and celebration because on the 31st we celebrated my lovely Parents as they renewed their vows after 35 years of marriage!

They had a beautiful and intimate wedding and reception celebration at the Bibb Mill Event Center and we (their children) were their wedding party.

Friends and family came to help us witness their re-dedication of their vows to each other and it was incredibly romantic and full of love! My Mom wanted us all to be in white and our bouquets to be red roses. The simplicity and vintage feel to the event truly made it a day to remember, because as a family this was so special to see our Parents still madly in love after all these years! Check out below some of the lovely photos of the day!

Motherhood is Magical turns 1!

I’m so proud of MM and the love and support it has produced! I found that writing about experiences since becoming a Mother has proved that so many other Mom’s share the same experiences. I wanted to celebrate 1 year of my blog and the success of the 1st year, sooooo I decided to throw my first event and invite anyone who wanted to come hang!!

I reserved a room at a painting studio, brought some food, wine, and cake and I enjoyed every minute of this gathering! I loved seeing the new faces that heard about it and connecting with old and new friends! It was everything I had imagined and I’m so glad I decided to go for it despite my nervousness! Stay tuned for even more growth and gatherings in 2020!

Big Things Poppin’

So with all the changes that have taken place, there is one last pretty major change that I’ll save to tell you all until it’s done! Because why spill all the beans at once, right? Yea, I don’t like secrets either but this is a bittersweet change that I’m excited about, but also nervous, anxious, and hopeful about, all wrapped up into one big ball of emotions!!! But we will get to that probably in my first blog of 2020, so keep following my friends!

So many things has taken place in between those major events as well like; my daughter turing 8, we celebrated with friends and family and had a party and fun trip. I had my first vending opportunity for Motherhood is Magical and it turned out even better than expected! My daughter and her soccer team went undefeated the entire season and made it the championship game and WON! So as you can see it’s been a busy two months but now that you’re all caught up with me, I hope you’ve had an exciting end of the year as well!

What are your plans to end this year with? What are some of your goals for 2020? I have a strong feeling this next year is going to be BIG! Big in many ways! Some people think buying a car, graduating from school, getting married, etc. are the things that will make the year. Those aren’t the only things that describe a big year for you, Sis! Leaving a toxic relationship and starting fresh is big. Going BACK to school after taking a long break is big! Working on your mental health, or fighting an addiction is big! Carving out more time for your children or committing to a healthier lifestyle is big! Those are still life changing events that are leading you toward a brighter and healthier life that you can be proud of! No goal in the right direction is insignificant, so start now thinking of areas of your life that you want to improve! No one is responsible for your happiness except you, take control but most importantly take action! Your kid(s) are depending on you and your self development so that you can be better for them and be effective in your parenting. As Mom’s we are the glue that holds our families together, make sure you’ve gotten or getting yourself together, too! I hope you’re proud of 2019 and what are you going to do in 2020 to be even prouder? Drop a line or two and tell me how you’re going to make it a Magical year for you and your family!

As always, Make Today Magical!

*Don’t forget to follow me on instagram, twitter, and facebook at Motherhood is Magical!

Super Mommy

I think the greatest thing I’ve done for my Daughter as a baby was breastfeed her for as long as I did. 19 months to be exact, it could’ve gone on longer because it was difficult weening her off, but it was time to make that transition.  You may ask why do I think feeding my baby is such an accomplishment? Well, because it was not an easy task at the start of it. We often see images in the media of the happy-go-lucky Mom breastfeeding her satisfied baby so beautifully, but in reality the process is sometimes ugly. Eventually it becomes second nature to nurse your baby wherever-whenever, but getting to that comfortable point and ease is a process.

Hit Me Like A Ton of Bricks

I still remember the day so vividly, it was the day after coming home from the hospital with my brand new baby as a first time Mom, I just knew that I was going to be nursing my baby like a BOSS! I made sure to have her latch on in the hospital so that she would get the benefits of the colostrum as well as trying to teach her how to latch on with the help of a lactation specialist, but I knew the real milk hadn’t arrived yet. I had done all of my research, consulted and met with a lactation specialist during my pregnancy, and had my Mom there every step of the way for advice and support. She breastfed 3 healthy babies for at least a year so her words of encouragement and support really guided me through the process. Even with all of this preparation nothing could prepare me for the day my milk arrived. It was 5 am, I was actually sleeping (a win for a brand new Mom), but at that moment I was awaken from what felt like someone had dropped bricks on my chest! My breast were so heavy all of a sudden I had trouble getting up. They were tight and engorged, and there were blue veins popping up all over my chest. The only thing I thought to do was stand in the shower with wash cloths laid on my chest and let warm water run over it to try to ease the pain and discomfort. At that moment I knew that this was not going to be as easy as I had imagined.

A Bond So Sweet

After surviving it through the arrival of this “liquid gold” I made sure to have my baby latch on and feed as best she could, she was still learning so she wasn’t getting much milk from me. All day long little-by-little I was trying to get her in the habit of nursing. This was honestly tiring and frustrating, many times I contemplated giving up and just giving her a bottle but I knew that I would be disappointed in myself. I knew I wanted to breastfeed my daughter because I felt that was best for her. My milk wasn’t slowing down it was coming in more and more and it was literally painful to not release when she wasn’t able to latch on properly. I begin to use my breast pump so that I wouldn’t allow the milk to slow down from not being released. See my milk was like supply and demand. The more she ate (or I pumped) the more and faster it came in, and I didn’t want it to slow down the flow because I knew she would catch up one day, and boy did she! She ate every hour on the hour and the milk was flowing beautifully. I’m so thankful I remained consistent because it didn’t happen easily at first, but I was determined and as long as I had milk flow I knew we could do it, my baby girl and I. Once we got it down and into a routine the bonding moments we had are unforgettable. It’s something Magical about you nourishing your baby like only you can. That God provided everything your baby needs inside of you. At every feeding my baby looked into my eyes and was content and at peace, knowing that she was safe, pressed firmly against her Mother who adored every part of her. Her little hands gently exploring everything in reach getting to know me even better each day as we grew together. A Mother and Daughter bond that is unbreakable and still to this day the sweetest connection I’ve known that I owe all to my choice to breastfeed my baby.

Don’t Get Discouraged, You Can Do It!

While breastfeeding is something I advocate for, I am aware that there are women who physically cannot breastfeed their babies. And those who can but choose not to, that’s fine too. Breastfeeding is a sacrifice and is every Mommies choice. I say to those who desire to but are struggling to get over that hump, here are a few tips that may help!

1. Be Patient with yourself and baby: Breastfeeding doesn’t come naturally as we would like to think, it’s something Mom and baby learn together. This is your reminder to be patient with yourself and your newborn when starting. If it doesn’t seem like your baby is latching on it doesn’t mean they will never be able to. Remember not to get discouraged, it takes practice and a lot of patience.
2. Remember why you chose to breastfeed: Each time I grew frustrated I made sure to focus on why I made this choice at the beginning of my pregnancy in the first place. Remembering that commitment allowed me to reevaluate, refocus my attention and shift my thoughts.
3. Breastfeeding is another bonding opportunity with your baby: I can’t say this enough, but I will say it again. The most peaceful and loving moments were when I was nursing my Chandler B. She was so content and so was I. Sharing those 15-20 mins during feedings made me appreciate Motherhood in a way I had never imagined I could. I always encourage new Mommies-to-be to take those opportunities because babies don’t stay babies for long, before you know it their infancy is a thing of the past! There are many bonding moments to share with your baby, but this was always my favorite.
4. The nutritional benefits: We all want to give our babies the absolute best, and as I mentioned earlier, God created in us everything our babies need during their first year of life-how amazing, right!? It’s incredible that a tiny human being can live off purely milk for so long but that’s a testament at how much of a super hero Mommies are! The health benefits of breastfeeding are large in number, some include; Protects against allergies and eczema, causes less stomach upset, diarrhea, and constipation, reduces the risk of viruses, urinary tract infections, inflammatory bowel disease, gastroenteritis, ear infections, and respiratory infections, lessens the risk of SIDS.  And the list goes on! There are a wide variety of sources you can read online that can elaborate more on why breast milk is the gold standard in nourishment for your baby!
5. Seek and support from family or friends who have breastfed their babies: Don’t forget while the journey may not be easy you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out to family and friends who don’t mind giving advice or helping, there’s also support groups and professional help you can turn to if you don’t have people you know that can. MommiNation is a phenomenal Motherhood platform and blog site I am blessed to be apart of, and we are committed to supporting Mommies through the ends and outs of Motherhood. Check out some informative blogs related to Black Breast Feeding Week Thanks for reading!