My Father My Identity

Dreaming

I remember when I was at a standstill in my life, my daughter was only 5-6 months old, and I felt as though besides her I didn’t have much. I looked at myself and my life and thought “there has to be more to life than this.” I was beginning to question so many aspects of my situation and wondered when would things get better. Each day was redundant and I felt I was beginning to loose sight of what I wanted, but what did I want? What was my purpose here on this earth, because everyone has one, right? After the birth of my Daughter I prayed constantly for God to show me the direction I would go, I was always feeling unsure because it seemed as though everyone around me was moving forward and I wasn’t. I remember vividly having this one dream in 2012 that was symbolic that I will never forget. Not just the dream itself but that My Father was there to interpret this dream that had taunted me for months on end.

It wasn’t until around New Years of the next year that I mustard up the courage to bring up this dream in a conversation with both of my Parents. My Parents are both Godly, spiritual forces and I hold their words and advice firmly. I was compelled to bring up the dream for some reason, I don’t know why that is but I’m glad I did. At this point I wasn’t looking for interpretation of the dream because by now I had given up on trying to figure it out. There were 4 parts to the dream each of them being some form of interference taking place within me. I remember one part I was standing in a desert as a large bull with horns as sharp as a razor charging towards me. I couldn’t run fast enough so I just held up my hands trying to protect my body from being punctured and wounded. As the bull reached me it sliced my hands over and over again non-stop. Even as I moved my hands to protect other places of my body it only targeted my hands. As I described this part of my dream my Dad immediately stated, “This shows that the attack is on your hands, your hands represent your work.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, it was almost like God was speaking through my Father, and I really believe he was.

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My Identity

My Father has always affirmed us, he has been very nurturing and spoke words of  wisdom and encouragement over us growing up. My Daddy gave me my identity. Just as God our Father does we should all have our Earthly Father do the same. By that I mean, he was that unwavering presence leading us by example.  My Dad taught me the tools to navigate life, reprimanded when it was necessary, then gave me the confidence to get back up and tackle situations full force. No matter how many times I may mess up he tells me “it’s OK we’re going to get through this.” WE, as in he will be right there sticking by my side. Knowing that allows me to be confident in who I am, why I am here, and how far I can go in life. Many adults struggle with their identity, possibly because they didn’t have that fatherly love and authoritative voice behind them confirming them as they walk through life. Lacking a Father in life makes my heart ache because I can’t imagine life without mine. “The truth is that the actions of our lives and how we feel about life and others flow from our perceptions of who we are. This, as we shall see, is why the father figure is crucial in our lives.” The dream I had years ago left me feeling uneasy and confused. I didn’t know what it meant or if it had meaning, but the day my Father gave it meaning reassured me and I was able to release many of my fears. He identified with me, affirmed me, and rebuilt my confidence with just a few words.

Daddy’s Girl

Daddy, thank you for interpreting that dream years ago. Your words that day catapulted me into understanding my purpose. I couldn’t see it but you did. You saw that I had work to do and told me to not let anything or anyone stop that! You always saw far greater things for me than I did for myself, and now as a Mom I see that is what you should see for your child. No matter how old I get I will always be a “Daddy’s girl,” rooted and grounded in all that you poured into my life growing up. You covered and protected me and have given me the most out of life, love.  Your role as “Pa-Pa” to Chan is so special to watch! To witness her love for you reminds me how I’ve always felt about you as a little girl. She adores you and looks to you for that affirmation and affection. I’m thankful that she’s had you to fill in the gaps since her birth and loving her the way she deserves, not halfheartedly but whole-heartedly and then some. All through school my peers admired you as my Dad wishing their Dad was there and half as involved as you were with us, I didn’t understand it because it was my norm. Knowing that it isn’t the norm in today’s society, is much to be thankful for that I experienced a Father’s true love. I’ve never had to look for it elsewhere.

 

 

Every Day is Father’s Day

Father’s Day we recognize Dads and appreciate them for raising us, loving us, molding us, believing in us, and the list goes on. My Dad has done just that and so much more. Countless times he’s been there for me at my lowest and the first to commend me at my highest. He is my balance and my safe place where I know I’m always welcomed without question. Happy Fathers Day, Daddy! For the sacrifices you’ve made for your family and the love that you’ve given and shown us you deserve to be celebrated not just today, but everyday. Everyday you’re a Father that we love and adore! Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! I can’t thank you enough, and words just doesn’t do it justice! Fatherhood is also, Magical!

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